Still Truckin

 This is the last photo of me with my dad. I had just told him I was expecting our third. Even though it was a high risk pregnancy and I know he was worried for me, the last words I recall him saying to me were, "You are so blessed." He passed suddenly three weeks later and each of my family members have similar stories of his last words to them. Today marks 15 years since that terrible night of no goodbye. Yet we were truly blessed by the gift of my dad and the legacy he left of putting our trust not in the world but in God. I'm so grateful that I can look back over these years and see the graces that sorrow has brought. He does bless those who mourn and carrying the cross of grief opens our eyes to the suffering of others moving us to step outside of ourselves seeking to console. 

That pregnancy, though fraught, turned out just fine and headed off to high school this week. I'm sad she never met her Papa. Somehow I think he knows her and smiles. 

I continue to be consoled each time I encounter the passage we found taped to dad's work computer, Phillipians 4:4-7

4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. 5 Let your gentleness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

As well as when How Can I Keep from Singing is in the hymn line up at Mass. Dad had turned to me once while singing that at Mass and whispered, "I want you to sing that at my funeral." We did.

Dad was one of 10 kids. His brother Ben died within a month of the passing of his wife Linda this summer, leaving only one sibling remaining earth side. 

Mom perseveres. She moved to downsize and then again to be closer to family. She keeps up with the grandkids, travels, volunteers, stays in touch with friends, and is involved at church. But every anniversary feels like an unfinished story. She'll always wonder and wish, yet still, she trusts.