A friend asked regular adorers to summarize our thoughts on Eucharistic Adoration for our church bulletin. Here's mine: Before committing to a regular adoration slot I would stop in when struggling. Jesus lent a quiet ear. I’d pour out my worries and come away lighter. Eventually I felt drawn. Will you not stay awake one hour?
Friday, November 26, 2021
My (brief) Adoration Testimony
Sunday, June 13, 2021
Behold your Mother
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| Ask for Grace |
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| Place your hands in Mary's. She'll take you to her Son. |
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| Relic of St. Catherine Laboure |
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| Our Lady of Fatima |
Speaking of Fatima, Mary appeared six times to three shepherd children on the 13th of each month in 1917 Portugal. She is big on appointments. She asked for reverent prayer to God, especially the daily rosary for peace, repentance, reparation for sins, and devotion to the hearts of Jesus and Mary. She said there would be a miracle at the last apparition which became known as the Miracle of the Sun.
Surrounded by a crowd of likely 70,000 onlookers in torrential rain, Mary revealed she was “The Lady of the Rosary.” She asked that a chapel be built and the rosary recited every day. The war will soon end and soldiers will return. God is much offended, do not offend Him anymore. Mary opened her hands and launched a ray of light towards the sun, it began to turn, cascading brilliant light in all directions. It then suddenly seemed to crash toward the earth and many knelt in terror, begging for mercy. All present, including many miles away saw the sun dance and leave its fixed place.
Next, we studied the apparition of Lourdes to Bernadette Soubirous (sounds like Suburu) in 1868. I love that Bernadette's immediate reaction to the vision was to kneel, reach for the ever present rosary in her pocket and begin the prayer. Mary bowed her head and joined in, only saying the Glory be aloud, since she wouldn't need to ask for daily bread or participate in aves to herself. At the next vision through the prompting of doubters, Bernadette threw holy water at her in case she was of the devil, to which Mary smiled, bowed, and blessed herself. The spiritual and physical healings of Lourdes still speak to the fruits of this encounter.
We studied the very recent and less known apparition of Our Lady of Kibeho, Rwanda Africa. Mary appeared beginning November 28, 1981and gave warning of the genocide to come, which was unheeded. The first three visionaries' claims have been named worthy of belief by the Vatican. Mary highlighted the value of the seven sorrows chaplet in which we are to meditate on the sorrows which pierced her heart. Her messages here were heavy on mercy and redemptive suffering. I highly recommend genocide survivor Immacullee Ilibigiza's books, "Our Lady of Kibeho" and "Left to Tell."
Next, we visited to stories of Knock, Ireland which occurred in 1879. This apparition is unique in that so many of various ages witnessed it, and it was a silent vision. On a dark and rainy night August 21st, fifteen people saw an image of light emblazoned upon the outside wall of the humble village church. The figures of Our Lady, St. Joseph, and John the Evangelist stood alongside an altar on which rested a lamb beneath a cross. Angels hovered about. The image remained in place for hours and returned three other dates to others. There was also the phenomenon of unwet pouring rain. The meaning of this pictograph is open to interpretation, but many have described the witness to hope, the meaning of the Mass, Mary's prayer and intercession for us, Joseph's silent obedience, John's role as the Tradition of the Church and Liturgy of the Word, while Jesus, the Lamb of God, as the sacrifice of the Mass. Others see apocalyptic warnings, and local warnings of the famine and persecutions ahead.
And finally, the grandmother of all Marian apparitions, we studied Our Lady of Guadalupe. December 9, 1531 Mary appeared as "the woman clothed with the sun" from Revelations to a recent Aztec convert to Catholicism, Juan Diego. She gave him the seemingly impossible task of convincing the bishop to build a chapel on the hill which soon resulted in the immediate conversion of millions and the end of human sacrifice in that region.
Juan Diego missed his appointment with Mary on December 11 because his uncle Juan Bernardino was dying. On December 12, he was hurrying to fetch a priest to administer the sacraments. He took a different route in order to avoid another encounter with the Blessed Mother, embarrassed that he had missed the appointment and not wanting to be delayed in seeking spiritual help for his uncle. Our Lady appeared to him nonetheless, the fourth time, assuring him that his uncle was already cured and instructing him to gather flowers on the top of the hill as a sign to take to the Bishop. “Am I not here who am your Mother? Are you not under my shadow and protection? Am I not the fountain of your joy? Are you not in the fold of my mantle, in the cradle of my arms? Do not grieve nor be disturbed by anything. Do not be afflicted by the illness of your uncle, who will not die now of it, be assured that he is now cured.” Juan Diego trusted Our Lady and found on the top of the frozen and barren hill the most beautiful Castilian roses, not native to Mexico. He gathered them and Our Blessed Mother arranged them in his cloak, or tilma. Juan then hurried to the Bishop’s house. When he opened his tilma to show the flowers to the Bishop, Our Lady of Guadalupe appeared depicted on the tilma. The Bishop immediately understood the truth of Juan Diego’s message from the Blessed Mother and hastened to have the chapel built on Tepeyac Hill.
The image itself is the most fascinating aspect of this apparition. Despite centuries of being subjected to the elements the cactus fiber cloth which should break down within thirty years, remains intact with its original vibrancy. The manner in which it was made cannot be explained scientifically. The image is a pictograph immediately understood by the Aztecs. She appears as a beautiful young queen that is both virgin and with child. The stars on her cloak represent the constellations as they appeared that Dec 12th night. She occludes the sun which was the god at the time, a god that demanded human sacrifice to continue to shine. Over her womb, is a flower in the shape of a cross, the sign of the Divine and the center of the cosmic order to the Aztecs as she bears the true God. Her hands are folded in prayer and her feet in the dance of worship indicating that she is not divine, but worships the One who is greater. The cross brooch around her neck is the cross of the Spanish missionaries that had until then been unsuccessful in their mission of evangelization. She stands on the moon, a symbol of another ancient Aztec god announcing the true God. An angel with eagle's wings supports the Mother of God. It was the "bird of the sun," now servant to the Virgin. She holds her mantle in one hand and robe with the other, signifying the Son she bears is both of heaven and earth.
The unifying theme of all of these apparitions are of the message to turn back to God, to pray (especially the rosary) every day, and that we are not alone or without hope in our sufferings. Also, we all share a Mother, who loves us and looks like us and wants our greatest good (heaven) for us. These events are also accompanied by countless conversions and miracles, bearing great fruit, and spreading through the ages. The seers are generally humble and pious unknown people who willingly suffer persecution to spread the messages of Our Lady. Mary's humility and service to God is obvious, as well as her unique cooperative role in the distribution of His grace. May the messages of our dear Lady be heeded as we strive to be merciful to one another and seek to be pleasing to God in all matters.
Wednesday, May 26, 2021
Beautiful Trauma
After a decade and a half wiled as a SAHM/caregiver/catechist/volunteer, more professional endeavors have fallen into my calendar of late. Though I'm still all those other things too.
I was asked to give a talk at the annual PAS conference as the mother of a medically complex child. It was a pediatric seminar on ethics and supporting families through the big decisions that come with these complex cases. The conference was originally supposed to take place in Vancouver, which would have been so amazing, but giving the virtual live talk from the comfort of my dining room was a bit less intimidating. O Canada, I'll see you one day.
It was an emotional experience, reliving some of Ben's early days and reflecting on the sorrows and joys of this complex beautiful life. The combined traumatic and miraculous experiences of all those "gathered" together to share creates an air of wonder and heaviness that is difficult to express.
Added to that, Ben's cholesteatoma has returned. He had a CT yesterday to determine the extent, but he's likely soon to be undergoing a series of procedures to empty his more troubled ear of all functional parts and to surgically close it permanently. The hope is that he'll eventually be able to achieve hearing through a cochlear device. It's disheartening to be facing these unknowns just as he's headed off to college. But the hope of good hearing and fewer infections is something worth enduring for.
In my talk, which happened to fall upon the birthday of Padre Pio, I touched on the challenges of this life and the lives of several of my friends in similar situations. But I also talked about all the ways these complicated experiences challenge the world to be better.
One example, is the book my friend Ann co-wrote with one of her late son's doctors. It's called, Shared Struggles. They compiled stories from parents like me and medical professionals then gave a parent and professional commentary on the situation to help bridge communication and understanding in this unique relationship. My copy arrived the night before I gave my talk. I first read the chapter I'd submitted, so touched that Ben's story is spreading in new and positive ways. I look forward to devouring the rest of the book, especially the ones I know personally. I need to set aside the crying time though! If you know any medical professionals or anyone with a medically complex family member or friend, they need this book. It's available from Amazon or direct from the publisher at Springer.
When Ben was a baby, needing 24/7 specialized care, his nursing agency could not cover our shifts and we'd take turns going days without sleep to keep him alive. We were at our breaking point and our jobs were suffering. Our friend, Justin, with no medical experience saw our distress and offered to take over a night to let us sleep. He promised to knock on our door if any alarms sounded or if he was worried. He repeated this offer and eventually progressed to handling feeds, meds, and addressing alarms himself. He and his wife eventually became our most trusted respite caregivers. This experience led Justin to go back to school to become a neonatologist. His personal experience of intense caregiving influences his care of countless medically fragile babies today. One little trach did that.
I began a new part time job at the start of the month. I'm a Resident Advocate for Birthstone Corporation in training to become a certified life coach. I'll be helping select the residents for our program and walking along with these moms coaching them as they achieve their goals of self-sufficiency. It's a dream job in so many ways. Years back when Jason and I were attempting to adopt a baby, again and again we felt like it was the mother we should adopt, so she could perhaps become stable and independent and be able to keep her baby. In a way, that's the goal now, facilitating the environment for families to thrive.
It's a busy time of transitions and growth, but so edifying to be finding new purpose. I feel led and renew my surrender.



























