The night before the appointment I was searching for novenas to the Sacred and Immaculate Hearts for their upcoming feasts. I learned that Padre Pio was well known to employ the Efficacious Novena to the Sacred Heart when asked to pray for someone and it begins:
O my Jesus, You have said: "Truly I say to you, ask and you will receive, seek and you will find, knock and it will be opened to you." Behold I knock, I seek and ask for the grace of...
Perhaps Padre Pio prayed this prayer imploring the Sacred Heart to act on our behalf? Jason and I have sung the song from this scriptural reference of Matthew to Ben so many times at his hospital bedside. It is a comfort to us that God hears and answers.
Friday morning, I dropped the kids off at school, went to Mass and headed for the hospital, a little unsure of what I would say. What they would say, and if I would pass the physical examination as expected.
The first awkward moment was telling the nurse that I had discontinued the list of medications she reviewed. The second awkward moment was trying to fill in the brand new Neuro fellow sent in for intake practice. My cardiologist was pleased, astonished, and happy to relay the news that my EKG was perfectly normal. It didn't seem like a bridge too far to him that something miraculous had occurred, though we didn't really delve into that too deeply. He released me from care and cleared me for aerobic activity, encouraging me to keep a check on my heart rate. Next, came the muscle tests with the doctor I've known for years since she is also Ben's doc. I easily passed the strength tests. She noted my heel cord tightness was gone. My gait and balance were fine. She was very pleased and yet a little unsure of what to make of it all. She said, "As you well know, I never get to release a patient." I asked what she might say if forced to give a scientific explanation for what had happened to me. She considered some options regarding an autoimmune response or virus that mimics muscle disease, but was unlikely when involving heart disfunction and unheard of to clear up in one day without treatment. My theory of being supernaturally healed was not implausible.
When finished, I sat on the rooftop parking garage for a moment letting it sink in, then texted my priest. You know, like one does. After some celebratory back and forth, he asked if I would share my story of surrender at the school's May Crowning to be held that afternoon. Who could say no?
With less than two hours to prepare, I asked the Holy Spirit for guidance on how to condense all that had happened into whatever was intended to be shared.
This is what He came up with:
My name is Jenny XXXX, you may know me by my favorite title Ben, Alex, and Gigi’s Mom.
Today I reached out to Father Jack to share with him some great news that happened to me and he said, Yay! You should come give a talk about that- in two hours. And I said yes.
I’ve come to share with you a little bit about the grace that comes when we give God our yeses. 16 years ago, this week, actually, my first child, Ben, was born. He was really sick. He had a muscle disease and one day after birth, his heart just stopped. I remember while my husband and I stood by in shock while the doctors and nurses tried to save his life, I begged out loud for God to send Ben back to us. I felt like God asked if I was certain. Could I be the special needs mother Ben would need if he stayed on the earth? I didn’t hesitate. I said Yes.
About 13 years later, I was struggling with this yes. Life was hard. Ben was facing serious challenges and our suspicions had been confirmed that I too had the same muscle disease. How could I take care of Ben while my body was failing? Somewhere along the way, I’d forgotten that I wasn’t in control. I took my worries to the Divine Mercy Chaplet and felt God asking me to surrender my son again. I reluctantly gave my yes, and my anxiety was replaced with peace.
Jesus, I trust in you!
2 years passed. Ben’s challenges became more manageable but I continued to grow weaker. One day, I learned about the Miraculous Medal of Mary and vowed I would wear it every day asking Mary for the graces we often forget are waiting for us. Within a few months, without meaning to I was praying a daily rosary too.
Shortly after that, I learned about the parish pilgrimage to Fatima. I had always felt drawn to our Our Lady of Fatima in particular, and felt this trip had come at an important time for our faith. Compelled, I signed Ben and I up. While preparing for the trip, I consecrated myself to the Immaculate Heart of Mary. We got on the airplane to go to Fatima exactly one year after I put on the miraculous medal.
I struggled physically with the trip. I walked with a cane, had great difficulty with stairs, and required medications for my heart and muscles. While we were at the Chapel of the Apparitions in Fatima, I boldly asked through the intercession of our Lady of Fatima that Ben and I both be healed.
We were not healed. Instead, I was given homework by a priest to also consecrate myself to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. I said yes. This meant going to Mass on the first Fridays of every month for nine months and offering those days up for Jesus through sacrifice and penance.
After the pilgrimage, Ben and I stayed in Rome and the rest of my family joined us. We had felt called to visit a small town in Italy where Ben’s Confirmation Saint, Padre Pio had lived. In the church, was the pilgrim statue of Our Lady of Fatima. Padre Pio had once been healed after kissing the feet of this statue.
I knelt and asked Padre Pio to show me why we’d come here. Behind the altar is a very large mosaic of Our Lady of Graces holding the infant Jesus in her arms. Padre Pio has since been added to the mosaic. One of his hands is outstretched presenting the mother and child, the other extending out to the faithful reminding us to pray the rosary.
I felt as if he said to me, Behold your Mother. Behold your Savior. But I know them already! I said, Why here and now? No, he replied, surrender. And so again, I said yes.
Yes, I will accept this burden of weakness and sickness. Yes, I will accept whatever God’s will is for our lives. I surrender. Use my life as You will it.
We headed home, feeling at peace. I mentioned that I was glad we’d come, but "Padre Pio, we’ve come all this way, I sort of hoped we’d be healed!"
While we drove along the auto strada of Italy, Rome bound, dark clouds covered the sky, mountains in the distance. Suddenly, the sun peaked through in the perfect shape of a heart. It was as if on fire. But the most beautiful, consuming, loving fire imaginable. My husband, Jason reached for my hand, and we both said, "It looks like the Sacred Heart of Jesus.”
We felt loved, at peace, content. When we got out the car, I slowly realized I was strong. I had been healed. I threw off my cane, and within a few days, discontinued all medicine.
Ben, however, was not physically healed. My joy at feeling strong was tempered by renewed grief that I couldn’t give my health to my son. Ben was not upset though. Ben’s response was an amazing yes for himself to accept God’s will in his life and to offer up his sufferings for others. He believes it is God’s will that he accept his disease.
Today, on the 6th first Friday that I have dedicated to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, I went to my doctors and was released from their care, they confirm that nearly six months after I was healed, my heart and muscles are normal and healthy.
So as we crown our Mother Mary today. I want to be sure she hears my gratitude, for giving me grace, for showing me the way to her son, and for my renewed strength, given to me by our Savior. May the Immaculate Heart of Mary and the Sacred Heart of Jesus reign in our hearts as we seek to answer God’s call.
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