Friday, August 22, 2014


I haven't posted in over two weeks which is odd for me. Whether warranted or not, I feel that I'm in crisis mode due to swirls of personal, local, and international chaos. It has put me in mood to leave it all unwritten, but I'm pushing that mood aside when I should be sleeping.

We'll start with personal. Maybe it's the teacher in me, but the start of a new school year means renewal with fresh supplies, precise routines, and lofty goals of high achievement. Healthy lunches every day. Homework done and checked by eight. Papers in the not yet ripped folder pockets and no reason to visit the lost and found for at least a week. Ben having surgery instead of starting seventh grade has me thrown.

First Day of School

Ben's latest ear surgery has gone well and he's bouncing back very quickly, but I still wish we could have gotten this done a month ago. We'd hoped to get a cancellation but it never came, that is, until the morning he was scheduled and they asked if we could come an hour sooner.

Ready to go to the hospital, "Ever Bending, Never Breaking" and "Like a Boss."

The nurse that registered Ben looked up from the computer and queried, "Heart failure? Oh, you must be our miracle baby!" Twelve years later and his birth story lives on. Despite being nervous, Ben chose to go back to the OR fully lucid hoping for an easier wake up. He was not disappointed and aside from the cursing, thrashing, threatening adult in the bay beside him, Ben had a great recovery (Is it bad that I took that opportunity to tell him that guy must not have been as brave?)  I'd had a feeling of dread prior to this surgery, I think because there was a lot of unknown about how serious it might be. It's tough not to think too much about aggressive corrosive tumors near your child's brain. Ben received the sacrament of Anointing of the Sick the day before surgery and the experience blessed us both with a needed sense of peace. There's just something about this kid. God is in everyone, of course. But I can just find Him easier around Ben some days. Maybe Ben did see God on that Third of May, and that vision still resides within.

I saw this written on the hospital wall I've passed countless times. I never read it before. 

This is what happens when I write instead of sleep. Ahem. So the surgery that could have been super scary, was pretty light. There was not actually any more cholesteatoma deeper than what was seen by otoscope which was astonishing news. The surgeon was able to shore up some of the fixes he wasn't able to get to in the last surgery due to bleeding and cut away some adhesions and improved the ear drum which may help prevent further cholesteatoma growth. He also removed the prosthetic pieces that he suspected could be causing Ben's nausea. He said Ben should now be working with a 50 decibel hearing loss, but that he could one day have that surgically restored and hearing aids should make up the difference for now. Honestly, I don't care so much about the hearing. I just want him to feel good. The best news in all this is that Ben awoke the next morning in the PICU and said, "I'm not dizzy!" After at least eight months of misery, it appears Ben's vertigo is vertigone! He coined that phrase, by the way.

Ben has a follow up scheduled tomorrow  today and he'll hopefully be cleared for school soon. As usual he's having some post event respiratory struggles, but breathing treatments are doing the job and giving me a reason to be up at crazy hours. I'm not joining words together well at this point, but some that can do a fair job standing alone are: Gratitude. Relief. Love. Peace. Amen.

I don't have the stamina for my other thoughts, so those words can wait.


  1. That's such great news that things went so well, hooray! I hope he will be at school soon and your "sense of order" is restored.

  2. From FB:

    Jill: So glad it went well and he's feeling better!!

    Erin: So glad it went well! There were some words in your post that I don't know how to pronounce, but it's easy to understand the faith that continues to hold your family. By the way, Isaiah 41:10 is one of my faves!

    Caren: Thank you for the blog. So happy for the whole family. Ben is an awesome guy!